The Art of Writing a Novel

This weekend I attended a two-day workshop presented by Alexandra Sokoloff on screenwriting structure for novelists.  It was incredibly helpful and I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to take their writing to the next level.  Her website:  http://alexandrasokoloff.com.

You know, when I sat down and wrote my first novel – and it only took me thirty days, which should tell you something – I thought all you had to do was puke plot onto paper.  Ha!  No one, but no one, will ever see that pile of dung. 

 
Now however, having written several novels, I’ve mastered show-don’t-tell, setting as character, the hero’s journey and its archetypes, how to create sympathetic protagonists, and have eliminated dialogue tags and my beloved-but-oh-so-forbidden semicolon.  I know enough now to understand that I have barely scratched the surface.   It’s a good thing I didn’t know there was more to it than that, or I’d never have started this whole writing thing.

OF NOTE:  This week, The Bookshop Muse is releasing its much anticipated Emotion Thesaurus.  Grab your copy, you writers you!  You won’t know what you ever did without it.  http://thebookshelfmuse.blogspot.com/

Ironing the Monster

Okay, I can't do anything about That Damn Dress unless I iron the fabric.  The problem is, I bought like 8 yards of the stuff.  I set it out on top of my kitchen table though and commenced to sweat iron.  The only problem with that is I have cats.  My cats LOVE it when I change the sheets.  And this was the biggest sheet of all!

Now how the heck am I supposed to iron with this cutie re-wrinkling the whole thing?

Cutie, cutie, cutie, cutie .... Mama LOVES the kitty!

But yes, I got it done, and I put the dang monstrosity back into the box (the fabric, not the cat).  Until next time ....

The Reluctant Seamstress

More on the Jane Austen Festival

Okay, so it’s been – what – six months?  So far I have washed the material and evened out the ends.  I also took out the pattern and looked at it a couple of times. 

And that’s all.

My sister made me that corset, by the way.  I wonder if I can get away with just wearing the corset over top of my regency-style shorts and tee shirt ... and live to tell the story.

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Okay, so several weeks ago I wrote a little skit starring my sisters (and me).

On a sunny day in July Jane Austen Festival …

Paula:  “Isn’t this a beautiful day?” Closes eyes, inhales deeply. “Just smell those Rosa Centifolia Pomponia.”

Janet (dreamily):  “It makes me think of Pemberly.”  Strokes maple leaf lovingly and gazes at far off bunny.

Sheila:  “I wonder if Edward is here.”

Claudia:  “Edward who? Damn it, I just stepped in dog shit.”

Sheila:  “Edward Cullin. Duh!” Uses both hands to shove boobs higher.

Carol:  “Edward!” Sigh. “Well if he is, he’s mine.”

Claudia:  Drags foot across grass, muttering, “Stupid people bringing their stupid mutts to a festival …”

Sheila:  “No way. I’m the Bella.”

Carol:  “You were the Bella last time! It’s my turn!”

Paula:  “Well you know, girls, there’s no such thing as vampires.  And if there were, I doubt you’d want to meet one, much less kiss one.”  Chortles.  “In fact, kissing Edward would be like kissing a corpse.”

Carol:  “No, it wouldn’t!”

Sheila: “Shut your gaping pie hole, Paula!  You’re just jealous cuz you’re not the Bella!” Surreptitiously arranges hair to cover evidence of hair extensions.

Claudia:  “Effing dog. Hey! Is that the refreshment table?”

Janet:  “Yes.”  Sighs tragically.  “And they set the table down right next to that tree, where the pretty gray squirrel was nesting.  She dropped all her nuts, poor thing!”

Sheila:  “Hey! Look over there!  It’s Edward!”  Points at guy wearing topcoat.

Carol:  “Move aside! He’s mine!”  Runs to catch topcoat.

Sheila:  snicker

Paula:  Sighs again.  "No one wants to look at the Rosa chindensis mutabilis."